Last day of another month marking some sort of renewal in life. Still having fever from my second Covid vaccine and felt better after taking two small pills of Tylenol. Two small pills, big magic of healing. Human creation is absolutely amazing.
When the body resumed energy, the mind got active again, imagining and picturing a world of wonders.
What if I die young? Who would I contact before I die? What if I leave without any messages, just like how we were born? What if I die in the physical world but keep living in the 5D?
If I am going to die tomorrow, I will:
- Tell my dad that I love him deeply despite all the discomforts he brought into the broken family and my life. My warmest childhood memory was from him when he unexpectedly showed up at my kindergarten, picked me up with a cute gift of a small chicken toy, and took me back home. I’ve never shared this to anyone because our relationship has been difficult. Now it’s time for him to know.
- Tell my mom that I’m sorry for not being able to escort her to the end of her journey like she does with my grandparents. That life urges her to be independent and live for herself at the age of 58, without a parter and without me. That she will be alright and happy, because I’m with her in her heart.
- Tell my loved one that he has a special spot in my heart, showing me possibilities and lessons from life about what love means. That I would always love and accept him unconditionally. That I’m sorry time runs short for this lifetime where we couldn’t see how our story transform and evolve, but I know that what we had is good enough for us to carry on life with more courage and love. Until next life, we’ll meet to build something beautiful together and be family.
- Tell my cousin Ran that everything happened for a reason and death is unpredictable. Witnessing hemorrhagic stroke from the man you are going to marry is devastating, especially at the age of 28 when you are ready to build a life with another. When a person leaves our life, we are tested and trained to be strong and carry on our life with resilience. Nothing will go expected, so we would better be prepared to flow as things go. Take the time needed to heal, then keep journeying.
- Give my cousin River a big hug and tell her that she is an amazing woman that I will always look up to, from my younger age to present days. Losing the biological mother after birth and figuring it out at teenager years from gossips of classmates is unbelievably difficult. I’m sorry our family kept the truth hidden for so long and you had to find out in the worst possible way. Yet she survived the darkest days and lived up her truth: honoring her real-life mother even more to show the world that human live for the presence, not for the dead. Her strength and integrity inspired every woman in the family to stick to the truth and pursue happiness at all costs. Fight for happiness, or drown with despair and be forgotten.
- Tell my friends that they will be blessed for the rest of their life and I will be watching and supporting them from above. That they will find love, anywhere, in any form. When that happens, that’s me sending the bliss of monstrous love and helping them be the vessel to practice love in their lives.
I don’t want a funeral if I die. I want to quietly leave the earth and give myself back to Mother Nature. Burn me into ashes and spread me into the Pacific Ocean so I can travel to the heart of Mother Earth and nurture the land of healing. My unfulfilled dream of living in Bali will be achieved after death. By then, I will drift freely across the globe revisiting my past memories before the light of reincarnation comes along. Then the next chapter begins, to finish what has been left off, to pick up what has been forgotten, to continue the journey of love.
PS: To honor everyone in my world and let them know how much I love their presence and support if I die young. To the true self hidden in my heart showing me her endless life cycles and her eternal theme of love. To the life after death and to the dead after a fulfilling life.